I've been wanting to tell this story for some time now...
Ok so first I must say that this story actually happened last
year during our 'Year of Hell' which I will tell at a later time. This story is just one of those that you will remember for years to come, and it will make you LAUGH OUT LOUD I promise! So let me set the stage for you...
It is the fall of 2008, and we have just brought Ava home from [yet another] 3 month long hospital stay. She has added a trach and a vent to her list of 'stuff' now and her daily cares have just become a LOT more complicated. So due to her 'extensive' (as the medical world calls it) daily routines, Medicaid graciously increased her nursing hours, so I have been interviewing nurses for the past several weeks, with no luck. I had been working with 2 different agencies and interviewed and/or oriented at least 5 nurses, all of whom did not work out for one reason or other. One girl was very large and had a hard time manuvering among all Ava's stuff, another girl kept forgetting to turn on Ava's feeds at night, another girl disconnected her vent circuit to fill her humidifier with water and was oblivious to her pulse-ox going off until her oxygen level dropped to 67 (seriously) and I literally had to grab the circuit out of her hand and vigorously rub Ava's chest while holding the ambu-bag in my other hand. THAT was the last straw! I officially turned into an obsessive person after that. A few days after the last scary incident, the agency called with [yet another] hopeful candidate, and I realized that I had to be at my part-time job early the morning she was coming to orient. So I made sure my husband had his alarm set and gave him strict instructions to take his time and show the new nurse EVERYTHING about the vent and NOT to disconnect her from it if she was asleep! I am quite certain I lectured Kenny way longer than I should have, but what can I say, I was a nervous wreck to leave her in the hands of a strange nurse after what we had experienced thus far. So we go to bed that night and, as usual, my dear Husband lays his sweat pants and sweat shirt beside the bed so they are within close reach in case he needs to get dressed in a hurry right?
So I get up the next morning for work. It is still at least 2 hours before the new nurse is due to show up. I gently rub Kenny on the forehead to wake him up. He opens up one eye and looks at me...
"Hey babe?"
"Yes..(mumbling and very tired)"
"I'm leaving ok?"
"Ok...."
"Make sure you show the new nurse everything about the vent ok?"
"Ok...."
"Hey babe are you awake enough to understand me?"
"Hmm?...."
"Kenny. (more loudly than before) Are you hearing me?"
"Yes, yes... I hear ya I hear ya"
"Ok. Well I love you. Bye. Is your alarm set?"
"Yes Vicki."
"[chuckling] Ok, bye."
So I go to work, and arrive home about 8 hours later to find Kenny working on something in the garage. Typical stuff. I ask him how the new nurse is, and he shrugs and says, 'She's alright. We should keep looking, but she's ok for now." So I walk into the house through the back door and towards Ava's area. I am greeted [very shyly] by a sweet, middle aged woman who is having a hard time looking at me in the face. I notice this right away, and am trying to figure out why she won't look at me. So I try for about 10 more minutes to make small talk with her (which I do with every new nurse) and she doesn't seem very talkative. So I change out of my work clothes and decide to go hang out with Kenny in the garage for a little bit and enjoy the fall weather.
"So what did you think?" Kenny asks me.
"She's ok," I replied, "not very talkative. She seemed almost scared, I don't know, she wouldn't look me in the face."
Kenny laughs and proceeds to tell me that they had an interesting introduction that morning.
"What do you mean by 'interesting introduction? " I said.
He tells me that some time after I left for work he must have accidentally shut off his alarm, or changed the time something. He said he fell back asleep and next thing he knew he was awoken by the sound of Ava's vent going off telling him it had disconnected, AND the sound of someone pounding on the front door...as if they had been pounding for awhile. So, he continues, he had to make a quick decision. Check Ava's vent or answer the door. So he hurredly pulled on his pants and hurries over, yanks the front door open, hollers at the new nurse to come on in, and runs over to Ava's vent to see what is going on. He said the nurse followed him to Ava's bedside, and watched as he held his pants up with one hand and looked for the vent circuit disconnect with the other hand. After he makes sure Ava is ok, he dutifully takes at least 10 minutes, maybe 20 he says, and shows her everything he can remember about the vent and Ava's specific needs, etc. He again mentioned that he was frustrated while he was 'teaching' her because he couldn't figure out why his pants didn't want to stay up, and had to continually reach down and catch them as they, repeatedly, tried to fall off. He said first he tried holding them up from the side, then the back, then the front. he said the nurse kept glancing down, and was nervously asking him questions as he went through everything.
He continued...After showing her as much as he could remember, he said he had to practically run to the bathroom, as most people have to 'relieve' themselves shortly after rising and he had not done that yet. So off to the bathroom he goes, closes the door, looks down, and realized in hurrying to get dressed, he was wearing his sweatSHIRT as pants! He said from trying to keep them on, the cuff was clear up to his knees, and the hood, was conveniently hanging in front.
So here was this poor nurse, who had never met us before, is greeted by a swinging door and a voice yelling, "Come on in." Only to see a man standing there with his legs stuck through the arms of a sweatshirt. Is it any wonder she told the agency she didn't feel right coming back? Haha! We have had many, many laughs over that one. Good thing Kenny is good natured, because he has been ribbed about that one A LOT!
