Saturday, August 13, 2011

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ever have a song whose lyrics keep running through your head and really touch your soul? When my mom was dying of cancer, I remember listening to Josh Turner's song, Long Black Train, and the phrase that kept running through my mind, "Cause you know there's Victoryyyyyy in the Lord I say, Victoryyyy in the Loooord. Cling to the Father and His Holyyyy name..." When I get stressed I drive, anywhere...and usually listen to music very loud. So I put a lot of miles on my car in 2003 when we were losing Mom....

I told you that story to tell you this one.....

So all of you know Ava's story, and her diagnosis [which] according to the medical world is not good. But I HAVE to rest in the Lord and trust her to Him. He has seen us through so much to this point. {Going of on a rabbit trail aren't I?} So Ava had to go in this to Children's Hospital last night to have ear tubes put in for her multiple ear infections. Since she has never had her vision and hearing 'officially' tested, they offered to do both while she was under sedation. So I agreed, I mean why not get it all done at once right? I knew in my heart, long ago, that her vision and hearing were probably impaired, so I was prepared for bad news.

So I spent the night with her at the hospital last night and, as always, she was happiest when she was laying on my chest, snuggled as close as she could get, and then I hear her start making sucking sounds, which [in her world] is a sign of great contentment. So I did not get much sleep last night because she wanted held, and besides, the couches in patient rooms don't exactly come with memory foam, so I didn't exactly get restful sleep last night. So about 6am this morning, I feel a 'tap tap' on my shoulder, and I turn around [with I guarantee the WORST case of bed head ever] and I see Dr. Kong, Ava's surgeon standing there smiling at me. Such an awesome guy, he did her trach surgery last year also. He always makes a point of coming to see us beforehand. He spoke to me briefly about the procedure, asked if I had any questions, and told me if all went well we could take her home a few hours after she came out of recovery. So I thanked him, shook his hand, and left the hospital so I could get to class on time, which was all the way in Marion--about an hour + away.

So I decide to stop and have a quick breakfast, and get back on the road and I get a call from Dr. Kong. He tells me that Ava is already out of surgery and is doing well. Awesome! He continues to tell me that they performed a brain stem hearing test while she was under sedation and that is appeared her auditory nerve received the signal, but it was not registering in her brain stem. So they did not believe she was able to hear at all. [I brace myself] He continued...They also tested her vision and, although they cannot know for sure, her optic nerve was sluggish and pale and they do not believe she can see either. He pauses and then tells me he is sorry to have to deliver this type of news after an, otherwise, successful procedure. I assure him it is not surprising news and I knew her vision and hearing were impaired to some degree. So I hang up.... By this time I am on St Rt 23 heading to Marion and my mind starts thinking, her brain cannot control her muscles, and now I find out she cannot hear OR see. My heart breaks all over again thinking about this sweet precious child trapped inside a body that doesn't work like it should. I try to shove the thoughts out of my head but they won't leave. I think of all she has been through, all We've been through. So I reach over and turn on the radio [my cure for everything, driving and music--haha] and what do I hear? "But you know there's victoryyyyy in the Lord I sayyyyy, Victoryyyy in the Lord. Cling to the Father and His Holy name..." All the way up 23 to school, I am wiping away tears and singing along with the music. Thank you Lord. Thank you for reminding me [yet again] that You are in control.           

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