This was the site that greeted us when we arrived at Children's Hospital J4 NICU. It was approximately 10:30pm on New Year's Day (what a way to celebrate huh?) and I was still physically in a great deal of pain from the emergency forceps birth. Up to that point, neither Kenny or I had even stepped foot in a NICU, let alone to visit our own child. I had not even gotten to hold her at this point, and would not do so for 4 long days... The Dr's informed us that she had suffered a severe 'insult' as they called it, to her brain resulting from a lack of oxygen during her birth. Shortly after her birth at St. Ann's, she started having siezures and was loaded with Phenobarbitol and Dylantin, 2 medications commonly used for treating seizures. Ava did not blink after birth, neither did she cry, suck, or move in any way. It was as if all of her reflexes were erased in the blink of an eye. I kept asking the Dr's, so when will she wake up? When will she cry? I saw the look in their eyes when they explained they did not know. I finally had one Dr that was frank with me. After being in the NICU for about 2 days, this Neonatologist vry seriously told me, "We don't know yet if she is even going to survive, so let's take it one step at a time..."
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